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Last year I was in the hospital receiving IV fluids, panicking about labor induction and C-sections, sweating in the extreme heat and wondering if my baby was going to make it to full-term.  This year I’m counting down the days (S E V E N) to Louisa’s birthday and being super excited about her party. A party that she will not remember or ever really care about. I, however, am going overboard but she’s my first baby and it’s her first birthday so yeah. Overboard happens y’all.

I was just re-reading my old posts from a year ago and I was much wittier and a better writer back then. But I can explain.  See, what happens when you have a baby is that your brain melts and you become boring and unable to do much of anything. I’m good at taking care of her. I’m good at my job. Apparently I can’t really be good at much else.  C’est la vie.

And, despite the fact that I re-read about the horrors of the last trimester of my pregnancy including fluid level panics, bed rest, water drinking, biophysical profiles, hospitalization for fluids blah blah biddy blah I’m still all like MOAR BABIES PLEASE. Yes, babies. I’m actually hoping for twins because for some reason I have decided I want three children (hormones make women craaaaazaaaaaay) and because I’m thirty six years old (and therefore my baby window is rapidly closing) I’ve convinced myself that the absolute terror of twins (two. babies. AT THE SAME TIME.) might just be worth it. I have, in fact, been googling how to get pregnant with twins. (God bless google. Have you ever not found what you’re looking for? Never! It’s always there!). I found this. So I’ve got like, six out of seven twin-making properties going for me (and there’s not much I can do about my ethnicity so… yeah). I’ve been taking prenatals (and hence folic acid) since before Lou was born, I’m still breastfeeding, I’m a fatty (finally a reason to be glad about that!)… and there are twins on my mom’s side. So YAY TWINS!  C’mon TWINS! I need me a little Fred and George!

So yeah. I have, apparently, completely lost my effing mind. My poor husband. I mean, right now not so much because SEX SEX ALL THE SEX GIVE ME BABIES YEAH! but C’MON. Twins. What the?! I showed him that page about how to get them on purpose and he just looked at me with that I-knew-you-were-crazy-but-wtf? face.

Anyway – sorry about not being funny or a good writer anymore. I can’t believe anyone is still reading my blog. And if I do have twins and thus become even more stupid and dull, well, sorry about it. In the meantime cross your fingers and help me cheer on the ova and swimmers. Or forget I said that at all and try to wipe that image out of your heads.


Mischief managed. Photo credit harrypotter.wikia.com