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You guys. My dude date is 6 weeks from today. SIX. WEEKS. I’m freaking out. I don’t have everything I need. I haven’t read all the books about childbirth. I don’t know how to be a mom. I’m not ready yet. Help? For really reals. This week I suddenly started to flip out about how close the end is. I know that I’m miserable, fat, swollen, and in pain and that I said I was done being pregnant, but seriously I’m not ready. Which doesn’t really matter because the baby is going to come anyway, right? I better get my shit together. Like, soon.

Nothing new happened this week. The baby is apparently getting huge and therefore my poor pelvis is aching pretty constantly. So is my back. Sleeping is difficult and I can only stay in bed for about 6 hours before it becomes pointless because I’m just in agony. Which, I guess, is pretty good training for how my life will be 2 months from now when I’m only sleeping an hour and a half at a time, right? Whatever. I’m tired. It sucks. We’re going to visit my in-laws this weekend because they want to see us one more time before the baby comes, and while I normally wouldn’t mind (I really am lucky in the in-law department, they’re awesome), I’m sortof dreading having to look presentable (I hardly ever fix my hair or wear makeup anymore), drive somewhere (okay, so it’s only a 90 minute drive, but my pelvis hurts!), be somewhere other than my couch, etc. etc. Plus they live in Arizona which is even hotter than it is here. Which is just a dumb complaint because once you get to 100 degrees it’s all the same. For serious – 113 is no different than 105, it’s just H O T. So I should shut up and just enjoy myself. They’ll feed us good food and it’ll be fun.

Oh, there is one new development and it’s kind of my favorite thing. The baby is so big and raucous that when she moves I can now watch my belly move. So. Freaky. It totally wigs my husband out to watch her ripple across my stomach. So yeah. That’s about it. I have a doctor appointment and a sonogram on Monday, so next week’s post will hopefully be more exciting. And maybe I’ll be less panicked?

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