Yesterday was one of the best days I (and my husband) have had in about 5 & 1/2 months (that’s how long ago we sold half of our shit, packed up the other half and moved to Las Vegas, if you didn’t realize). As some background, here’s a list of the things that have occurred since we got here: the apartment wasn’t ready (even though they said it would be ready), I got knocked up unexpectedly (not necessarily a bad thing (see previous eleventy billion posts about baby fever), but definitely not the best timing), I started bleeding and thought I was having a miscarriage – I wasn’t, but my cervix appeared dangerously short so we had to pay out-of-pocket for an extra sonogram at the perinatologist (high-risk pregnancy doctor) because we didn’t have Medicaid yet, one of our kitties got sick and ended up draining most of our savings account, we found out our baby is missing a hand, the transmission in my husband’s car went kaput (and we ain’t got the 2 grand to replace it – plus, the car isn’t really worth 2 grand, ya know?), and most recently my husband’s cell phone died. I realize that none of these events are all that traumatizing and/or life-threatening (except, obviously, for the pregnancy complications and birth defect), but when added all together they’ve made for a trying time the last few months. Add to all of this the fact that we’re broke. Like, seriously broke. We had saved a bunch of money up for the move. Enough to get here (gas etc), rent an apartment (first month’s and security etc), and still have a bunch in the bank for living off of while we got jobs and settled. My plan was to not start work right away but to start and finish the school that I’m attending rather than get a job in a field I don’t want to be in anymore. So we paid for my school and figured we could live off of our savings and my husband’s income for a couple of months until I was done, at which point I would get a job and we would be fine. Then, as mentioned above, I got knocked up. And all of those other money-sucking things followed. And my husband didn’t get any gigs despite auditioning for a bunch and trying desperately to get things going with a few different people. And I couldn’t get school done quickly because I was too nauseous to go to the library (my school is all online and we didn’t yet have the internet at home, because we couldn’t afford it, so I had been hauling my ass to the public library daily to use their free wi-fi). And I couldn’t really look for a job to bring more money in, because who is going to hire an obviously-pregnant woman knowing that she’ll have to take a bunch of time off in a few months? So, the savings dwindled and my panic mounted. Luckily we have kind and loving family members who were willing to give us money, buy us lots of stuff at Costco, come to town and take us out for meals, and pay for us to get the internet at home. And I qualified for Medicaid, so at least we don’t have to worry about baby-related medical expenses forcing us to file bankruptcy and live in a cardboard box. So we have managed to keep our heads barely above water.
Okay, fast forward to yesterday (sorry, that was quite a bit of background information). We had another appointment with the perinatologist to check on my cervix, and to see their pediatric cardiologist to make sure the baby’s heart is okay. I guess missing limbs can signify other disorders, and if her heart had also been abnormal it would be a sign of something else. Unfortunately, 17 weeks (when they discovered the missing hand) is too early to get a good enough look at the heart. So. We had to wait a month. Luckily, absolutely nothing is wrong with her heart. In fact, the doctor very quickly established that everything about her heart is perfect and working just the way it should be. Couple that with the negative alpha-fetoprotein test from a few weeks back and the baby has nothing wrong with her other than the hand. Which in reality is soooo not the worst thing that could happen. I’ve been googling around, doing some research, reading some other pregnancy/parenting blogs (do NOT do this while you are pregnant! JUST DON’T) and there are so many devastating things that can go wrong during and after pregnancy. So. Many. Things. This little one is going to be just fine and I am so very grateful. Oh, and my cervix is “hanging in there” (my doctor uses fancy medical terminology) so there is still no danger of the kid sliding out prematurely.
So then we got home and my husband got the phone call we’ve been anxiously waiting for. The phone call we’ve been begging family members to join us in crossing fingers, praying, doing ritual sacrifices and/or selling souls to Satan for. He got a new job. (He interviewed last week on his birthday, but I didn’t bring it up because I was nervous about jinxing it). A new job that pays significantly more than he has been making AND will provide health insurance after a mere 30 days. The place he has been working since November? They don’t give it for a year (which is still more than 6 months away!!), which is sort of understandable because they are a family-owned, retail establishment with a high turnover rate, but still. We’re in our mid-30s and about to welcome a baby, not to mention my husband has asthma that is currently going untreated and I suffer from mental illness that sometimes requires medical attention – we need us some health insurance! I almost cried when he got off the phone (which, admittedly, is not that unusual considering I’m pregnant – for reals, I cried at a Friends episode the other day – don’t tell my husband). You guys! We’re not going to starve! We can pay our bills! We can even *gasp* pay OFF some bills, buy some baby stuff, and perhaps save some money so that we can move to a bigger place in a less shitty neighborhood once our little bundle of joy arrives. The relief is immeasurable. Sometimes you don’t realize how large a load of stress you are carrying around until it gets lifted. Mama’s gettin’ some good sleep tonight!