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You guys. Im officially halfway through my pregnancy. Holy macaroni! This realization is both terrifying and exciting. This week my little one is the size of a cantaloupe. A cantaloupe! That sounds so large. I know last week was a mango, and that’s not exactly tiny, but cantaloupe seems enormous. And that would explain why I’m beginning to feel like she is pressing on things – namely my bladder. The peeing, y’all, it’s just ridiculous. Especially since as the weather warms up (holy nuts is it nice in Vegas!) I’ve been guzzling water all day long in an effort to remain cool and hydrated.

Fun and awesome pregnancy symptoms this week (aside from the near-constant peeing):

1. Water retention. Yes,  my ankles are swelling. And my fingers are finally so fat that I have taken to wearing my wedding ring on a chain around my neck. Sigh.

2. My feet hurt. And I think they may be flattening – like, for reals, bye bye arches. If I stand up or walk for long periods of time they ache.

3. Spider veins – WHY GOD WHY??!!!  Please bless that they don’t turn into varicose veins because those things totally creep me out.

I have no cravings this week, which as I’ve mentioned before seems to be my pattern. I’m still hungry, and can eat pretty much anytime. Despite the fact that it’s exhausting and that I waddle, I’m forcing myself to keep up my daily walking routine because it’s good for me. I’m going to have to start doing it earlier in the day, however, because at noon it’s just too dang hot to waddle around carrying this cantaloupe on my flattening arches.

I’m not doing any Kegel exercises (not sure why I felt the need to bring them up), I guess I’m just playing craps with my urinary continence status and will probably end up a pants-wetter like a few female relatives I have (who will remain nameless, because what if they start reading my blog someday and they’re all like I AM NOT A PANTS-WETTER (even though they totally are)). So be it.

I had a checkup this week with my mid-wife, and I officially heart her. I had a hard time getting used to her at first (I’m like that with most folks), but she was very comforting to my husband and me during the last visit (where this happened) and this week she was just so very pleasant. She doesn’t hassle me about weight and when I told her I was hungry all the time, but trying to eat healthy food she was like “sometimes it’s okay to eat something just because you want to” and didn’t add anything like “except for you because you’re FAT and you’re endangering the life of your child” (stupid WIC woman can suck it). Plus, she had great news for me. My alpha-fetoprotein test came back normal, so I don’t have to do an amniocentesis, which makes me very happy because I really didn’t want to do one. I hate needles. And it’s a big, mothereffing needle.

And they jam it RIGHT INTO YOUR BELLY!

So yay. No amnio. Next visit I get to do the 1-hour gluocose test to find out if I have gestational diabetes. Not very fun, but a lot less horrifying than that needle. 🙂

And finally, the flutters are getting bigger. It’s so much fun to feel her wiggling around down there. It makes the whole thing feel real finally.

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