Have you ever found yourself wondering, as you burst into tears for the 2nd time in one day, exactly how it is that you got to This Place? And whether This Place is where you should be, or if, indeed, it is The Wrong Place? And whether there was a seemingly insignificant decision that you once made that led you to This Place, and had you decided oppositely you’d be in The Right Place? I sometimes do that.
You know how people are always saying “everything happens for a reason”? I disagree. And I sort of hate it when people say that. Like “oh, I’m sorry things are kind of crap for you right now, but everything happens for a reason”. As if that will solve the problem. Doesn’t that just make you feel worse, like you somehow brought this on yourself? I know, I know, I’m supposed to be being more positive, and I suppose that what those people mean is that The Horrible Thing that you’re experiencing right now will turn out to have some sort of deep, spiritual meaning, NOT that you somehow deserve it as punishment for being a jerkface for most of your life. But still.
Having the internet at home after having gone without it for years is like Christmas (when you’re young enough to have anticipated Christmas for months and months and can’t sleep the night before in anticipation) every day. I don’t care if we end up selling all of our possessions because we can’t afford it, I am in crazy love with the internet right now. See how I ended on a happy note? It’s the new, improved me, with less complaining and more gratefulness.