RayRay is upset with me because I haven’t written anything for a while. I just don’t really feel like it. Oh, and I was on vacation. There really wasn’t a good internet connection and I didn’t think blogging on my iphone was realistic, so I didn’t write while I was away. I still don’t feel like writing. Or leaving my house much at all. Or being awake. But, here I am, doing all of those things. I’ve been taking Cymbalta for a little over a week. I went to my doctor and requested that specific drug because supposedly it has shown promise at helping with low back pain, something which I have been fighting a losing battle with for a few years now. Chronic pain. Daily pain. All day. And most of the night, for that matter. For over 2 years. That might contribute to my depression, you think?
I was in Utah, visiting family, since you asked. It was gorgeous there, as I expected it to be. Kind of chilly, and slightly snowy at times, but in between those tiny, insignificant flurries there was a whole lot of sunshine. I love the sunshine. I miss Utah. I miss my family, I miss the sun, I miss knowing where I was all the time and knowing how to get somewhere else that I wanted to be, I miss the safety and security of being completely familiar with my surroundings. I’ve lived in Portland for almost 10 years now, and I still don’t feel like I’m home.
Man I’m depressed. If you hadn’t picked up on it yet, that’s the gist of this entry. I’m depressed. And it sucks. And I hate it. And I wish it wasn’t a part of my life. Cross your fingers that the meds kick in, because so far? Nada.