So, Ray Ray sent me this link today, and GOD DAMN I want to eat those. Yes, judge me if you must, but seriously – is there anything better than hot, homemade, chocolate chip cookies (and that pre-made cookie dough shit you get at the grocery doesn’t count , I’m talkin’ ’bout HOMEMADE)? Yes, apparently there is! Hot, homemade, chocolate chip cookies, WITH OTHER COOKIES SHOVED INTO THEM. Cookie stuffed cookies! It’s like stuffed crust pizza, only infinitely more tasty because of all the chocolate involved.
It’s like turducken only not horrifying and vomit inducing. C’mon, who wants to eat that? Okay, I would probably try it if I was at somebody’s house and they were serving it, but let’s just say I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it has the word turd in it. Okay, here’s where I confess to something kind of gross, wherein you think to yourself “well duh, that’s why she’s fat” and I start to wonder what kind of weird shit I’m going to crave when the whole pregnancy thing kicks in: I have tried a twinkie wiener sandwich. TWINKIE. WIENER. SANDWICH.
Yes, it actually is an effing hot dog stuffed into an effing Twinkie, with some effing spray cheese on top. I didn’t dip mine in milk, however, because that’s just disgusting. See – I had this boyfriend in high school who was a big Weird Al fan… well, you get the idea. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever eaten, but it sort of made my teeth hurt. Speaking of fat girls, I just ate dinner and already I’m hungry. It’s like there’s not enough food in the world. Oh, P.S., if you’re just joining us, I know that the picture of me on my about page really doesn’t make me look fat, that’s because it was taken before the terrifying slide into obesity began, I just don’t want to put up a new photo because I’m horrified by myself. I haven’t been weighing myself or allowing myself to diet or obsess about food, but I’m feeling very portly. It could have something to do with hormones and/or the fact that I stopped taking my crazy pills, but seriously, I’m frickin’ Stay Puft over here. So, how do I convince my husband that instead of a cake this weekend for his birthday, he wants nutter butter stuffed, chocolate, chocolate chip cookies?