Everyday after work it’s the same scenario. You wanna do it now or wait until after you’re done with guitar? I don’t care, whatever you wanna do. Romantic? No. Efficient? Perhaps. Jason and I are both tired. And I don’t know about him, but I’m totally not in the mood. But, this is Ovulation Window Week, so I’m not taking any chances. I haven’t bothered buying all the basal thermometers and ovulation predictors and other, various fertility accoutrements yet because I figure that’s what you do after trying for a few months with no success, right?  But I am familiar with how the whole thing works and since I keep track of my favorite Aunt I can narrow the egg drop down to sometime this week. So we’re going with the “do it every day and see what happens” method. Too much information? Sorry about it. I warned you that things would get pretty specific around here once baby making became top priority.  So yeah, baby making. That’s what’s going on at Chez Carter. He hasn’t complained yet, but I’m so over it. All of the pregnancy books I’m reading are all “try not to turn lovemaking (I too am involuntarily projectile vomiting at that word) into a grueling task, keep it passionate and exciting” blah blah. Right. I’m not supposed to focus on the baby making, just on the sex. But I can’t help it. Like, honestly, on a regular week? I wouldn’t feel like having sex on a Monday. I can barely keep from gouging out my eyes on Mondays. So I’m totally focusing on the baby making and forcing myself on my husband. Fill ‘er up please! I’m nothing but a vessel, a device, a conduit from sperm to egg. And I just thought of the sperm dumpster tee from this Family Guy episode. Gross. This is how I operate with everything, though. When I decide on something I become obsessed. I obsessssssed over the wedding last year to the point that Jason almost left me. Getting knocked up has now become the focus of my life. I’m reading books about it, I’m visiting every pregnancy and parenting website there is, I’m trying to change my eating habits in the hopes that it will help, I’m worrying incessantly about everything that will ever occur in this baby’s existence. At acupuncuture on Sunday I mentioned to The Needler that my husband and I are trying to get pregnant, is it okay to still get needled? He got an almost impish look on his face and said “oh yeah, it helps”. I’m pretty sure what he wanted to say was BWAHH hahahahaaaa! My sister knows somebody who struggled with infertility, went through the drugs and the treatments and the IVF with no success, finally turned to acupuncture in desperation, and got pregnant with twins. Hence the BWAHH hahahahaaaa! right? HEY UNIVERSE, NO TWINS. Do you read me?

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