Today was an odd day for me. I hate to go on about the weather again, but it sort of mirrors my mood. Actually, I suppose my mood mirrors it, but you get the idea. It has been sunny here in Portland for most of the week. If you’re not familiar with this place, that’s quite a feat. All of the rumors are true and not embellished by hyperbole, it really does rain all the time, and the sky is the same shade of gray for eight to nine months out of the year. We don’t get enough vitamin D, we’re prone to depression, we’re all pasty pale and drink lots of coffee.
The day started out lovely, cold but sunny, as was the rest of the week. When the sun shines you can see colors. Duh Anjeanette, right? But living here you forget. You forget that not everything is just varying shades of gray. Life in Portland is like a black and white movie. So all week I’ve been admiring the gorgeous colors in nature – even a blue sky is a miracle. Then today? The black clouds rolled in, and the sprinkling started.
I was in a fine mood most of the day, not great, not horrible, but fine. It was The Husband’s last day of work which is good and bad. Well, for me it’s good and bad, for him I suppose it’s mostly just FUCK YEAH! It’s odd working with your lovuh. We met and started dating there, flirted over the coffee machine, got stranded in a hotel because of a freak snowstorm together (the company put us up and while there we… um… played Monopoly and drank hot chocolate with marshmallows, of course), fell in love and got married. The entirety of our relationship we have worked together. But, that also means that we don’t spend those hours apart like most people that are halves of a coupledom do. We work in different departments so we don’t see each other every minute of every hour, but we do run into each other frequently. So while I’m glad, I’m also sad. While I’m looking forward to not working with my mate (because let’s face it, it’s okay to have separate lives), it’s going to be a little strange riding to work all alone, and not being able to just wander over and find him to ask a question.
So it was a weird day, and weird weather, and I’m feeling weird. How descriptive. How about I get real? I’m feeling relieved that he’s gotten the hell out of there because he’s been unhappy for so long, jealous because I still have to work there, angry at some of the things that went on there which ultimately led to his decision to leave, relieved that my situation is so different than his which is why I’m okay to stay, slightly worried about what he’s going to do (did I mention he doesn’t have a new job yet?) yet oddly at peace and trusting in The Universe. It’s amazing that I, The World’s Greatest Worry Wart, she-who-lies-awake-at-night-fretting-about-stuff-she-can’t-change, am feeling this serene about the whole thing. But in all ways The Universe has been like “yo, take it easy, I got this”, so I’m trusting life. Despite the varying shades of gray outside.