Do you believe in God? Because I don’t. Not really. Not in the flowing blonde-haired, blue-eyed, mormon Jesus that I was raised on anyway. I just imagined the feeling some of my religious friends and relatives would get if they read this and it’s just weird. They’d be so uncomfortable. Maybe even angry. They’re fully signed up, signed in, signed on and all about that being-righteous-to-make-it-to-heaven thing and I just can’t dig it. Or that whole vengeful God thing. God created us, but he thinks we all suck and are going to be punished for our sins and burn in hell? Who decides what sins are anyway? I mean, sure, I’m not going to kill anybody, but I’m going to hell for thinking about sex? Plus, what’s with all the fighting and killing? Like, my god’s better than your god so I’m gonna kick your ass? None of it makes sense to me.
What I can dig, however, is the thought that maybe we’re here for a reason and that we’re all connected somehow and playing into this big scheme of something – drifting, floating, grooving on life, jiving together. I believe that the vibes we put out can and will return to us in kind. I think that our thoughts can affect more than we think they can. I know that if you listen hard enough and tune the fuck in you can really know what’s going on around you. I can’t read minds (yet) but if you pay attention to something other than you, you can come pretty close. People’s actions aren’t really as random as they sometimes seem.
I like to refer to it as The Universe – this power, these senses, this interconnectedness that leads to something, this whatever it is I believe in because things gotta have a name, and The Universe seems as good as anything. It pretty much covers everything. Well, everything that we know anyway. Maybe I’m wrong and it is a god of sorts. Maybe it’s a goddess. Maybe it’s many gods. Maybe it’s a giant spider (sweet Jesus I hope not!), or those aliens from the Simpsons. Maybe it’s some dude behind a computer. I just think of it as The Universe because I don’t really care what it actually is, I just care that we’re not giant sacks of water plodding around on this dirt heap for no apparent reason other than to use up everything we find and fight with each other.
I also think that if you can slow down, pay attention and get out of your own head for a while you might be able to see what The Universe has in store for you. Sometimes I get signs. Like what? – you might ask, but it depends – on you, the receiver. On the message, the question, the answer you seek. My signs are often birds or feathers. Sometimes numbers. Sometimes songs. For a while it was fuzzy caterpillars. You gotta know how to receive, and how to recognize. You’ll know it when you see it.
What I’ve noticed, of late, is that all of this writing that I’m doing in the morning and all of this blogging that I’m floating out into the internet is taking so much stuff out of my mind that there’s room to see, room to listen, room to sense. And giving up caffeine has let me slow down and shake off some of The Frantic that usually follows me around. How easy is it to get lost in the shuffle? The hurried blaze that is most people’s lives. You run around, chase around, working, eating, talking, driving and before you know it another day is done and you haven’t thought at all. But lately, I’ve just been grooving on life. Slowing down. Listening. Taking it all in. Paying attention. And The Universe has much in store for me.